BSOD
...Which, as some of you might know, stands for 'Blue Screen of Death'; i.e.
the screen that Windows users dread seeing most.
Unfortunately, I had the pleasure of seeing this screen (one too many times, might I add) on Juliet's birthday. (Sorry, Jules - not blaming you at all, but I hope you had a better day than I did!)
Laptop freezing + hard drive clicking + overheating processor = multiple BSODs.
I left CHKDSK (rubbish) to run overnight, and lo and behold, when I woke up I was faced with yet another BSOD, which turned out to be the final breath that my beloved laptop was to take. For after the laptop was restarted, this is what I saw -
A disk read error has occurred
Press Ctrl+Alt+Del to restart the computer
I'll give you three guesses as to what message came up when I restarted, and when I restarted again, and again, and again...
After much research and debate it was decided that my laptop would be replaced with a Dell Inspiron 6000. The cost of replacing the internal hard drive, combined with the other problems I was having with the system, plus the fact that I am no longer covered by warranty, suggested that it would be more worthwhile replacing the whole system as opposed to bits of it. Just half an hour ago I placed the order - how scary - almost like buying a house. I suppose like most things in life (cars, mobiles, men - only joking on the last one) there comes a point in which older models must be replaced with newer, better ones. But alas, such are the pitfalls of entirely-too-short lifespans of laptop computers.
As my entire life was stored on my now-deceased laptop, I have been understandably stressed over the past few days, having aged (I swear) by about 37 years.
However. Clouds, silver linings etc:
*Vital documents/photos have been backed up onto my iPod
*The new laptop will be arriving shortly
*My parents and boyfriend are visiting Oxford for my birthday
So yes - I am annoyed, frustrated, saddened, panicked, and very much inconvenienced, but there is still much to look forward to.
In the meantime I’ll have to live
sans ordinateur - which is probably a good thing as I can actually work without distraction. And not having internet connectivity in my flat means that I’ll be able to keep myself away from online shopping. Dare I call this a blessing in disguise? Perhaps. Just perhaps.
Oh my God. I just bumped into Thom Yorke! Here. In Oxford. On Fyfield Road.
Except - being the muppet I am - I didn't even say hello as 1) it didn't occur to me that it actually was him at first, and 2) my mouth was probably hanging open in shock for some time thereafter.
Oh well. I might just bump into him again, perhaps on Norham Gardens next time?
satellites
I don't think that I've ever been on a fulfilling trip before. Sure, they've all been fun, culturally stimulating, and jam-packed with activity, but I have never experienced leaving a place feeling like a fuller person than I was when I arrived. This changed during my recent trip to Bermuda. I think this was the trip that was characteristic of my ideal vacation - relaxing, slow of pace, with the opportunity to view Bermuda as a resident would, not a tourist. I felt as though I'd been there for months, and yet when the morning of my departure came, it felt as though I'd only arrived yesterday.
But since arriving back at home my mind has been in overdrive. I have many questions about my future and I have not confessed the following to anyone yet - not my parents, not my aunt, nor my friends, and not even my boyfriend. I was so set on heading down one route that I never really considered what alternative roads I could take. I've realised that what I thought I really wanted perhaps isn't something I
truly want after all, and this admittedly scares me a bit. There are so many places, times, and stages that I want to be in, and I find it unsettling knowing that life is about to throw a curveball in my direction which might call for a change of plan. I'm no longer certain about anything, except my relationship with Daniel, which further accelerates the need to reconsider everything else that I thought I'd so cleverly/deftly planned out already. I'm confused. Being in Bermuda has reminded me of what is and should be at the centre of my universe; now I need to figure out what to do about everything around it. My life currently feels like an equation with one extra unknown variable that is utterly impossible to solve for.
It is with these thoughts in mind that I welcome 2006 with one part excitement, two parts anxiousness, four parts restlessness, and eight parts trepidation. I often wonder where I'll be writing from, come this time exactly a year from now, and what the fates have planned for me in the meantime. So much has happened in the past year that I expect the same to occur in the next 12 months. I guess we'll have to see how the stars align...
