5.9.06

Am I the only one who sometimes feels like they simply dread facing the rest of their life? Maybe I think too hard but I feel as though I won't be able to cope with certain things that are inevitably going to be thrown at me in the future. These things are, invariably, intertwined and it is impossible separating one from the other: family and relationships. I am in such an awful state right now that I feel like surrendering. What surprises me is how I usually never let go of things without a fight -- I feel like there is no fight left in me. All that is left is an overriding feeling of wanting to move away, far away from the confines of familial politicking and developing relationships.

In Isolde's words, I feel selfish and defeatist. I couldn't have described it better myself.

L'Esthete @ 14:37