broken telephone
As a self-confessed broadband addict, I have already been making arrangements from Canada so as to ensure that there is an enabled broadband/telephone connection in time for when I move into my flat in less than two weeks.Problem #1: the lack of telephone number.
A telephone number is a standard piece of information needed to set up a broadband connection, as it works in conjunction with your phone plan. Simple, right? Obviously the next step would be to contact someone who might have the telephone number for my flat. Who would that be? How about the lettings agent ('J'), or perhaps the landlord ('C')?
So I promptly e-mailed the lettings agent.
Hi J,
Please provide me with Flat 2's telephone number. I would like to set up a broadband connection now so that I have an internet connection in time for when I move into the flat.
Many thanks,
A
Simple, really. I expected to obtain an 11-digit telephone number. Here is what I obtained:
Dear C,
The tenant would like the telephone number for the above property in order that she can apply for broadband. I would therefore be grateful if you could forward this number to her. A copy of this email is being sent to A at [A's e-mail address].
Many thanks,
J
And the reply from C:
Hi J,
Do you know no-one ever had the number as they all had mobiles and never watched TV or such, BUT, I believe that for £39.oo per month, Telewest does the whole thing. TV, broadband and phone. This is a good deal. Upstairs has this package. A plain old BT connection I think is £19.99 for broadband. The socket is a BT one, and can be re-connected right now if [the tenant] just calls 150 immediately.
C
Dear A,
Please see e-mail received from the landlord of the above property regarding the telephones.
Many thanks,
J
Problem #2: I don't really bloody care what the other tenants require, whether or not they watch the telly, whatever. I'm wondering if the sentence 'Please provide me with the phone number etc' was too difficult to comprehend in the first place.
Problem #3: 150 is the UK version of, say, 411. Which means that I cannot dial the number '150' from Canada. If the landlord had actually read our agreement, perhaps she would have noticed that I have an international mailing address. I'm also wondering if perhaps 'Toronto, Canada' has become internationally unrecognised.
Problem #4: I begin to wonder if the landlord has not heard of the function 'Reply To All' in e-mail.
I wrote:
Dear J,
Thank you for the information regarding the broadband plans that C suggested. However, I still require the ACTUAL telephone number for the flat. In case it hasn't been made clear, I am currently in Canada and will not be in London until next weekend. I would like a broadband connection to be established BY the time I move into the flat, and it takes at least a week to do so. As I am making these arrangements from overseas, the telephone company requires that I provide them with the flat's telephone number.
I would greatly appreciate obtaining the actual telephone number for Flat 2 at [the landlord's] earliest convenience.
Many thanks and kind regards,
A
J's reply?
Dear A,
I have been informed by the landlord that the last two tenants insisted on using their mobile phone and did not re-connect the landline telephone in the property.
J
Problem #692: Do I really care what the other tenants bloody well used?!
Problem #943: Why should obtaining a bloody telephone number require such an extensive ping-ponging of information back and forth, only to result in such blatant stubborness/stupidity/laziness (delete as appropriate), and lack of said phone number?!
Problem #1274: I am beginning to wonder who the one with the issues is: J, who would most likely have the flat's phone number in her files if she looked a wee bit harder; C, who somehow would like to dictate what methods of communication her tenants use as well as withholding a telephone number from a tenant who is just about to move into her flat; or me, for being so phone- and broadband-addicted in the first place, for (obviously) not being able to speak clear English, and for being so gobsmacked that I've lost all ability to count sequentially.
L'Esthete @ 17:34
