oh no! colours might be exploding!
I have been known for going on in vague, arm-wavy ways about how my last relationship has made me that much 'stronger', etc etc. However, it clearly hasn't yet turned my heart into steel, and admittedly I really am still a softie. After that little incident on new years eve, I've certainly been acting like it. Bah. Men. They do terrible things to the female psyche. I cannot stand overanalysing, and it doesn't take a genius to figure out what I've been doing for the past three days. I need to start thinking like a man. Today, as AJ informed me - 'Lady, you're being such a woman!' So I decided to get a man's take on the situation. (Edited and censored - young children read this blog.)
Keith says:
and it seems you had a great NYE as well
Keith says:
so...any pics? who's the lucky cheeky bugger? ;P
close your eyes and reinvent me says:
Oh God
close your eyes and reinvent me says:
I need your advice...and am about to pull out my hair
(Happiest Girl says: Blah blah blah.)
Keith says:
right. find someone who looks exactly like your ex. shag him. and move on.
(Note: my ex is ugly. Love really is blind. Moving on.)
close your eyes and reinvent me says:
Erm...ok. There's this bloke. *Sigh*
(More nonsense follows.)
Keith says:
so far this all sounds good...
(More neurotic, womanly observations on love and life follow.)
Keith says:
so far this all sounds good...
(Yadda yadda.)
close your eyes and reinvent me says:
So this is where it all starts getting wonky and stupid.
(etc etc.)
Keith says:
okay...first things first. it takes two to tango. you're a sharp kid. you were definitely sending him signals. secondly...relationships start in myriad ways. dont pigeonhold the relationship ideal into some statistical possibility
(Keith is a genius. More blah blah blahing from Happiest Girl.)
Keith says:
the ball is in his court. you get to sit back now and see what happens...which is pins and needles for you i'm sure...but nothing to worry about.
close your eyes and reinvent me says:
I mean, ok, women think of it this way - if a guy is interested enough, he'll do anything to get in touch. Is that true? And what does it mean if they don't? (Edit: a legitimate question.)
Keith says:
he did get in touch. he borrowed a freinds phone to do it...that means he had to tell his friend about you. both are good signs
close your eyes and reinvent me says:
'Hey mate, can I borrow your phone, there's a pesky girl I need to text back'
Keith says:
aw...it's an impossible equation. unknown answer. infinite formulas. you've too great an imagination to even worry about it. you'll drive yourself mental.
Keith says:
if he's interested he'll contact you
Keith says:
if he isnt interested, then i'd say he's gay
Keith says:
or maybe castrated
Keith says:
and possibly deluded
(Every woman needs a Keith.)
close your eyes and reinvent me says:
I've got a photo
Keith says:
where's the drool emoticon? send it along woman!
Keith says:
who's the lucky bastard?!
Keith says:
give him until thursday to contact you....if he hasnt by then...i dont see any harm in calling him to see what's up. just be ready to move a bit slower than you did on new years if it comes to that. if he contacts you before thursday then proceed as if he's smitten with you
Transfer of "Picture 249.jpg" is complete.
Keith says:
you guys look great. he's cute.
(More non-sensical wallowing in self-pity by Happiest Girl, followed by several unmentionable comments made by Keith.)
Keith says:
how about we call him mr. tongue (Edit: don't ask. Please.)
close your eyes and reinvent me says:
Don't you dare!!
Keith says:
if i was Tongue i'd be calling/visiting you on monday when term starts. search you out at shcool and ask you out for coffee/pint/buy a raincoat or whatever it is londoners do
(Happiest Girl says: 'Blah blah blah, whinge whinge whinge, whine whine whine'.)
Keith says:
exciting times! i see colours exploding in your future!
...Or dancing in my hand s. Sigh. I could do with some more alcohol right now, and definitely a tranquiliser.
L'Esthete @ 01:04
