the great divide
It never fails to astound me just how rampant stereotyping of ethnic groups is. No wonder racism still underlies many problems in today's society, whether we admit it or not. We'd like to think that we've come a long way, but certain everyday occurrences still serve to remind us that we harbour thoughts - most often subconscious - that lead us to generalise about particular ethnic groups.We all categorise, and it is not always wrong - in its simplest form, it is a method of sorting information. However, it becomes wrong (not to mention insulting and offensive) when blatant generalisations are said directly to a member of a particular ethnic group.
Consider this:
-Someone (Caucasian) at the dinner table says that "Asians are all hardworking";
-Someone (Caucasian) at a friend's dinner table that "Asians are terrible drivers";
-An ex-(Caucasian) boyfriend liked seeing a flower in my hair "because that's what a proper Asian girl should have";
-People believe that female Asians all must play some form of musical instrument, usually piano, violin, or flute;
-People believe that female Asians ought to be subservient, undemanding, and quiet;
-The media feeds off the stereotype of male Asians being sexually undesirable and devoid of sexuality;
-Men view female Asians as exotic, hyper-sexualised 'creatures';
-And would you believe that people still dare to refer to us as 'Oriental'?
No, not everything in the list above is outright offensive. I believe, however, that most of us will admit to thinking one or more of the above thoughts. Asians are, according to the 'rule', good at mathematics (lucky us), correct? Asians are also intelligent and hardworking, yes? I guess Asians should be grateful that we have, generally speaking, positive attributes associated with our ethnic group, right?
Wrong.
The other day, during a conversation with a close (Caucasian) friend, I mentioned that I still hadn't seen the latest Harry Potter film. His response? "Asians and their Harry Potter!" This was not offensive nor derogatory. However, it was inappropriate. It did not need to be said, and certainly not directly to me. It was not hastily or mistakenly blurted out in conversation - it was a conscious, typed thought.
I informed this person that hearing these generalisations is something that I do not tolerate. His response made me angrier than his original comment did. Would you believe that he had the nerve to tell me, an Asian, that "people need to lighten up and not take things so personally"? Since when does someone devoid of any colour whatsoever have the right to tell someone of obvious ethnic minority what I can and cannot get offended about?
The conversation went dead promptly thereafter. I was shocked not to have received some form of apology, or a simple 'I take that back'. I had to prompt him for a response, only to receive a cold "I got it". More appallingly, later that same night, this person came online to ask me yet another question. "[A question] for you," he wrote. "Is it okay for an Indian man to make fun of Asians?"
Why was he asking me this? Was he trying to test my limits, or gauge how hypocritical I am? He asked because he had, apparently, a 45-minute clip of a stand-up comic making fun of immigrants, including Asians, to send to me. If your jaw isn't dropping right now, it ought to be.
I could not believe that someone would have the nerve to even suggest that I view this video, a mere few hours after I expressed, to the point of exhaustion, how I felt about the issue. I did my best to remain normal about it, but admittedly, there were certain things I should have said right at that moment that I didn't say till later. The full impact of his words started to sink in soon thereafter. No, I do not think it right for anyone to make crude jokes about other ethnic groups. If you can laugh at these jokes, please keep that to yourself. I highly doubt that anyone who finds humour in this can truly view that ethnic group in the same light afterwards.
In short, this individual was inappropriate, offensive, insensitive, ignorant, crass, and - perhaps most sickening - incredibly smug about it. You get the picture.
There is something to be said - and forgive me, for I'm generalising here - about those who live in multicultural cities and who can appreciate multiculturalism much more so than those living in cities that are not as multiculturally diverse. Unless someone is of an ethnic minority (and by that, I mean of colour), it seems very difficult for them to comprehend just how much words can sting.
And words, as empty as they might seem at first, really do hurt to the core. This was not - and undoubtedly will not be the last - racially-charged comment I have experienced directly from someone. Anyone of colour will attest to the fact that these comments are offensive. Whether you are of an ethnic minority or not, always think twice about what you want to say before you say it. Please treat issues with sensitivity, and people you perceive to be 'different' with equal respect. Things are never - forgive the pun - as black and white as they seem.
L'Esthete @ 19:03
